I am a sinful man

10 FEBRUARY (Lk 5,1-11)

When a person comes into contact with the holiness of the thrice holy God, feels the weight of his sinful humanity and cries it out to the Lord. Today, Peter, before Jesus lives the same experience Isaiah did when he saw in the temple of the Lord his divine majesty and the army of his Angels that sang his holiness.

In the year King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, with the train of his garment filling the temple. Seraphim were stationed above; each of them had six wings: with two they veiled their faces, with two they veiled their feet, and with two they hovered aloft. “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts!” they cried one to the other. “All the earth is filled with his glory!” At the sound of that cry, the frame of the door shook and the house was filled with smoke. Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, holding an ember which he had taken with tongs from the altar. He touched my mouth with it. “See,” he said, “now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” “Here I am,” I said; “send me!” And he replied: Go and say to this people: Listen carefully, but you shall not understand! Look intently, but you shall know nothing! You are to make the heart of this people sluggish, to dull their ears and close their eyes; Else their eyes will see, their ears hear, their heart understand, and they will turn and be healed. “How long, O Lord?” I asked. And he replied: Until the cities are desolate, without inhabitants, Houses, without a man, and the earth is a desolate waste. Until the Lord removes men far away, and the land is abandoned more and more. If there be still a tenth part in it, then this in turn shall be laid waste; As with a terebinth or an oak whose trunk remains when its leaves have fallen. (Holy offspring is the trunk.) (Is 6,1-13).

The experience of being a sinner ensures that God can purify him. The experience of Peter of being he too a sinner ensures that Jesus can call him to be a disciple, an apostle, a missionary, a herald, a preacher of his truth, and giver of his grace. With Jesus gradually Peter must go – not instantly like Isaiah – from a state of impurity to a state of true holiness. This path will be fulfilled on the day of Pentecost when Peter will be completely purified not by the fire taken from the altar, but from the one taken directly in the heart of Christ. This fire is the Holy Spirit. Peter is sanctified by this divine, eternal fire.

While the crowd was pressing in on Jesus and listening to the word of God, he was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret. He saw two boats there alongside the lake; the fishermen had disembarked and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, he asked him to put out a short distance from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. After he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.” Simon said in reply, “Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.” When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come to help them. They came and filled both boats so that they were in danger of sinking. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” For astonishment at the catch of fish they had made seized him and all those with him, and likewise James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners of Simon. Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” When they brought their boats to the shore, they left everything and followed him.

Today many people do not have the experience of the closeness to Jesus Christ and for this they do not feel their condition of being sinners. Without this awareness, no path to sanctification will ever be possible. Who deems to be holy, just, like the Pharisee in the temple, can never begin a true path to his purification. He lacks the conscience and knowledge of his true state, of the reality of evil that dwells in his heart. Only Jesus can give this awareness and knowledge. Without the help of Jesus Christ, no conversion will ever be possible. Sin is real blindness. Nobody can heal by himself from blindness; the supernatural help of the grace is needed.

Virgin Mary, Mother of the Redemption, Angels and Saints give us the truth of the heart.